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Friday, February 25, 2005

Korn is dead! Check poop for remnants!

Oh my God! Literally! So, it seems that Brian “Head” Welch, the guitar wanker from everyone’s favorite motivational band, Korn, has found Jesus and left the band. Sure Korn is motivational; they motivate me to destroy my stereo, or at least turn down the volume, or wonder why God created music, if he knew that eventually, it would end up being molested by terrible jackasses such as Korn. God. Seriously. What a terrible, terrible sound they make. Maybe now the band will break up, simultaneously proving that there is a God, and while HE might not make mistakes, he does fix them. Rumors are rampant on the net, mostly stemming from the commonly held belief that Jesus was never “missing”, so then how could “Head” have found him? And, if I had a nickname, I can assure you, that it would never be something as obvious/laughable/ridiculous as “Head”. And any band that needs 7 strings on their guitars, because the basic 6 just can’t get low enough, well, that’s a band I certainly won’t come to for life-guidance and/or spiritual advice.

2 comments:

Moz said...

eewwwww! you said poop

Jonathan said...

That's awesome that he's a Christian now.