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Monday, April 04, 2005

I've been Wizzed on.

Have you seen The Wiz? Not, the "nobody beats me, I'm the Wiz!" from Seinfeld. And not the wiz that's left after your three cups of morning joe. I'm talking about the worst movie ever, regrettably made in 1978. It's the all-singing, all-dancing, all-black version of The Wizard of Oz, and we watched it on Saturday night and I want my two and a half hours back. The screenplay was by Joel Schumacher, which was a warning sign I just couldn't see. It's incredibly bad, and not even worth Netflixing. It stars a 50 year old Diana Ross as Dorothy, and a pre-trial of the century Michael Jackson as the Scarecrow. Ugh. Nipsey Russell as Stepin Fetchit, I mean, the Tin Man, and the dad from the Urkel show as the bitch-ass lion. There's probably about 3 minutes of dialogue and the rest is ALL SINGING. And it's not good, "Over the rainbow" type songs, but instead it's garbage disco/soul/R&B like "Ease on down the Road" and "Don't tel. Ugh. The description says it has lavish sets, but don't be fooled; it's super low budget and crappy and filmed almost entirely in some god-forsaken warehouse. I can think of so many things wrong with it, my mind is totally boggled.

I, for one, would like to see all-white versions of "Shaft", "Enter the Dragon" and "Napolean Dynamite". Any other suggestions?

4 comments:

jonny ragel said...

it's just a bad movie. if you can call it a movie. it's more like a bad broadway musical noboby went to except one jerk with a video camera, who then decided to document it for some reason. it's like a trainwreck with no casualties- except anyone who sees it of course, because it lasts forever untill you fastforward it to the end credits.

I liked a few of the songs though. I just wish diana ross would have had a better hair style.

erik said...

horrible horrible experience folks,

but to be fair, j. schumacher wrote or directed some entertaining flicks...

st elmo's fire (writer/director)
lost boys (director)
falling down (dir.)
phone booth (dir.)

and inxs' "devil inside" video. ok, maybe that wasn't that great.

erik said...

i'd like to see a hip-hop/musical version of "2001: space odyssey" starring usher and jay-z. maybe will smith. "awww hell-naw!"

BonikaStJames said...

Yeah, it was bad bad bad. I sincerely apologize for recommending and orchestrating the viewing. I have mentioned that I will willingly watch a horrible movie as recompense if suggested by any of the other viewers. Sloop we are even for Anchor Man. I would love to see an all-white version of Friday, wait, I guess that would be Dude, Where's My Car.