My wife and I just spent a few days in beautiful Newport, Oregon. A few memorable moments: Saturday night at about 11:00 pm, some guy in a muscle shirt started walking around on the street below, while yelling and flexing his arms like some kind of pro wrestling jackinanny.
Also, we went to the “Undersea Gardens”, which is basically an indoor salt-water swimming pool, and some guy in scuba gear swims around and holds crabs and fishes up to the window for the crowd to behold. An uninterested high-school girl reads from a coffee-stained page about aquatic life and how Planet Earth should really be called Planet Ocean. It costs $8.95 a person and lasts about 15 minutes. I’m sure that it’s the worst $17.90 we have ever spent.
On Saturday, we went to the Oregon Coast Aquarium which was $11.75 a head, but the whole thrilling adventure took about an hour and a half to get through. My favorite part was the Spanish speaking families telling their kids to “¡Mira! ¡Mira!” at the playful sea otters.
This was all fine and good and we had a couple of awkward breakfasts with other people, because: a) a hot breakfast is served for free to everyone staying at this hotel, and b) meals are served “family style”, which I thought meant we’d all be yelling at each other and saying how we hated each other’s ass faces, but it actually means that each table seats 8 and there’s only a few tables. Consequently, odds are you’ll be sitting near some frumpy NW librarian or Renaissance revivalist. This weekend happened to be the weekend of Ye Glastonbury Renaissance Faire, in Newport, and therefore, several bands of roving idiots could be seen around town in yon costumes from dayes of yore.