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Saturday, July 30, 2005

This summer's hottest epic adventure!


Mt. Tabor Statue, originally uploaded by Sloop.

This morning, Mo and I got up and took the dogs for an epic journey up the mountain. Without even the thought of coffee for ourselves (the cafe doesn't take debit cards) or food for ourselves (our kitchen has nothing but lettuce and ice cream), we set off with our faithful hounds in search of adventure, and to do as much as a man can before he repents. Erm... that is to say, I've never really considered myself much of a mountaineer, but after this morning, I think that it's really in my blood.

Have you seen the Lord of the Rings movies? Our journey this morning was a lot like that, only instead of the Balrog in the mountain, there was a sleeping pit bull outside the Bi-Partisan Cafe. Yes, that's really the name of the cafe.

Also, instead of facing tens of thousands of orcs as we entered the forbidden land, we were greated by a dozen emptied cans of Pabst, remnants of last nights battles, I assume. Then came the "never-ending staircase", which literally had at least 4 flights of stairs!!! OMG!!! Literally!!!! Luckily, Lola was able to drag me up most of them.

We found our doppelgangers at the top of the mountain, only instead of a big dog and a little dog, they just had a couple of little barking moustaches on leashes, from what I could see. Mo and I agreed that if we ever got Pomeranians, we'd kill ourselves. At the top of the mountain, we looked down on the people of this city, as usual, but this time, we were surrounded by trees.

The walk back home was alright, a little bit of a let down. Mo nearly fainted as I slid on my butt, rebel-style, down the handrails of the "never-ending staircase". Half-way down the stairs, though, Lola saw a squirrel and, naturally, ran after it, yanking me off the handrail and onto the ground. Luckily, my face broke the fall.

Then we got home and I took a nap, and when I woke up some little people jumped onto my bed in slow motion, and then a weird old guy with a beard dumped a 40 on my bedroom floor and said, "One for the homies".

And that was my morning. And with the exception of the visit from the Kazu-Hank's, this afternoon has sucked d------- ---s. Or rather, it's been a tad boring.

5 comments:

jonny ragel said...

there's a bottle of mad dog 20/20 burried behind that statue. I put it there. seemed like a good idea at the time.

Na said...

Wow, what an adventure!! I would probably have freaked out at the people jumping on my bed and the old man in my room. It sounds a little creepy.

Jay said...

I haven't seen the movies, but don't worry, I substituted all those references with a movie I have seen recently - Madagascar. I was very surprised that you knew some talking zebras!

BonikaStJames said...

That's funny about you getting pulled off the rail. Does that make me a bad friend? I miss you guys... and you're not even in Europe like our other dumb friends.

Armaedes said...

I'm wracking my brain trying to think of something utterly profane that fits into "d------- ---s" but I'm not getting anything. Oh wait, here's one:

DEMOCRAT PUSS

I think you're safe to write that one out without putting all the blanks in there.