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Friday, September 16, 2005

And 2 hard boiled eggs. Honk! Make that 3 hard boiled eggs.

So, I just back from a certain unnamed incompetent fast food burger place. I went with my co-worker, the Sumo Haiku Warrior. Here’s an exact transcript of what happened:

Me: Yeah, I’d like 2 cheeseburgers, a regular fry an-
Voice: Oh, hold on. If I make that a combo basket, you can save a little money.
Me: Ok, thanks. (long pause) (to the Sumo Haiku Warrior) Hey dude, do you know what you want?
SHW: No. (long pause). What’s on a Classic Burger? How is it different from a regular burger?
Me: I dunno. Do you want me to ask?
SHW: (long pause) No. (long pause)
Voice: Ok, so I’ve got a cheeseburger combo basket and what do want to drink?
Me: I want a regular Vanilla shake.
Voice: Ok, so I’ve got a cheeseburger combo basket and a vanilla shake. Will that be all?
Me: No. I also want (to the SHW) what do you want?
SHW: A large fry.
Me: A large fry.
Voice: A large fry? Ok. Hold on. I’m gonna make that a combo basket with that one cheeseburger.
Me: Ok, great. (extremely long pause)
Voice: Ok, so another cheeseburger combo basket. Anything else?
SHW: A classic burger.
Me: A classic burger.
Voice: A classic burger. Anything else?
SHW: And a vanilla shake.
Me: And a vanilla shake.
Voice: And a vanilla shake. Anything else?
Me: (to SHW) Anything else?
SHW: No.
Me. No.
Voice: Ok, so we’ve got 2 cheeseburger combo baskets, one with a regular fry, one with a large fry, and 2 vanilla shakes and a classic burger. Anything else?
Me: No.
Voice: Ok, that’s $13.78 at the first window.
(we pull forward)
SHW: Goddammit! We should’ve just gone to Taco Bell! $14 for hamburgers? That’s crazy!
Me: Yeah, what the eff dude?
Guy at first window: Ok, so we’ve got 2 cheeseburger combo baskets, one with a regular fry, one with a large fry, 2 vanilla shakes, a classic burger and a large chocolate shake.
Me: What? No. Both shakes should be vanilla.
Guy at first window: Yeah, 2 vanilla shakes and 1 large chocolate shake.
Me: No, there’s no chocolate shake.
Guy at first window: What? Ok, hold on. Do you still want 2 vanilla shakes?
Me: Yeah.
Guy at first window: Ok, just a minute. (walks away for at least 50 seconds).
Guy at first window: Ok so 2 cheeseburger combo baskets, one with a regular fry, one with a large fry, and 2 vanilla shakes.
Me: And a classic burger.
Guy at first window: Oh, you still want that?
Me: Yeah, just no chocolate shake.
Guy at first window: No chocolate shake and add a classic burger. Ok hold on. (walks away for another 50 seconds).
Guy at first window: Ok, so its 2 cheeseburger combo baskets, one with a regular fry, one with a large fry, 2 vanilla shakes, and a classic burger?
Me: Yeah.
Guy at first window: Ok, then it’s $10.26.
(we exchange money and I pull forward)
First lady at second window: Ya’ll want a holder for all yer shakes?
Second lady at second window: No, they only get 2 shakes. They didn’t order a chocolate one.
First lady at second window: Really?
Me: Yeah, just 2 vanilla shakes.
First lady at second window: No chocolate shake?
Me: Right.
First lady at second window: Ok, so I’ve got 2 cheeseburger combo baskets, one with a regular fry, one with a large fry, 2 vanilla shakes, and a classic burger?
Me: Right.
First lady at second window: So do you want a holder for your 2 shakes?
Me: Sure.
(they hand us our crap and we drive away)

To sum up, never in my life have I had more difficulty making a simple order and then confirming it a dozen times. So I'm going back tomorrow, definitely.

4 comments:

Sumo Haiku said...

Looks like mike brown (ex-fema director) Got a new job.

reese said...

holycrap, my blood pressure went up a few notches just READING about your drive-thru experience!

Sloop said...

Sorry to do that to you, Reese. I promise my next post won't be quite as exciting.

Rusty said...

Mmmm, BV...