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Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Whose life is more meaningless?


So, a certain cynical friend of mine and I were talking this morning about what we did last night. I was all "Arrested D, season 1" and he was like, "Bah! I watched the E! True Hollywood Story of Janice Dickinson" and I was all, "Dang, dude! Your life sucks!" and he goes "Yeah, I know" and I go, "No offense, but you are one pathetic loser!" and he goes "Yeah, it's true" and I'm all, "I can think of literally one million things I'd rather do than watch a piece of garbage show about meaningless pop culture trash". Here, ladies and gentilemen, is that list:

1. eaten alive by fire ants
2. watch paint dry
3. paint a model aeroplane
4. stare at a blank computer screen
5. put 9 volt batteries in my mouth
6. feed the dogs
7. bathe the dogs
8. walk the dogs
9. come up with more reas­on­s...
10. google chat
11. bitch
12. moan
13. listen to music - ANY music
14. write music
15. record music
16. play music
17. listen to music on hold
18. vacuum
19. mow the lawn
20. secretly look through the curtains at the neighbors
21. think of what I might say in Spanish to the mexicans who are working on the house next door without proper building permits.
22. comer
23. beber
24. dormir
25. consider raising the rent on my renters
26. decide not to raise the rent
27. waste Feaverish's time with mean­ing­less lists
28. etc...
1000000. watch Arrested De­vel­op­ment for the 9999999th time.
done!

2 comments:

BonikaStJames said...

I'm not with you on that one (through a million). It's like the story of a horrible train wreck or mutant baby... I'd watch it. I mean, what would it take to become Janice Dickinson? There has got to be like aliens and the Illuminati involved. She is a total piece of work. Oddly hot/gross at the same time. Watching her life story would have to make me feel better about my own sanity.

kazuhank said...

wow! i'd throw some stones too if i hadn't fallen victim myself to a few e hollywood biopics. that's probably one of the reasons why i no longer get the e channel.