Monday, April 03, 2006
We are family. Oh crap.
You know, I love my extended family: my wife's grandpa, aunts, uncles, cousins, cousin's husbands and kids, all that crap. It's great seeing them once or twice a year, and in that time I feel pretty comfortable with our relationships. I remember their names, they remember mine; we smile at each other and comment on whether or not this is our favorite ice cream, or "My, what a large piece of cake!". That stuff is great, classic family get-together tradition, right? Of course. So, after being at family functions like this, we've seen people change: haircuts, weight gained and lost, new cars, pets gained and lost, a few grey hairs popping up on some folks; heck, we've even had 2 presidential elections in the time that I've been married, 2 U2 albums, 3 Radiohead albums, I've been in 6 or 7 different bands since I've been married. There's been 3 or 4 Olympics since I started dating my wife. A good amount of time has passed: married for almost 6 years, started dating in 1998.
So what should have been the appropriate response, when, as we were talking about our upcoming anniversary a certain relative (who was at our wedding), asked if this was going to be our first anniversary? And I'm not talking about dear old gramps with Alzheimer's. This is a fully functioning (or so they claim) adult. I mean, holy crap, we've spent Christmas together for the past 7 years, and family reunions every summer, several funerals and weddings, and after all that you think that this will be our first year together?
How in the world does someone like this survive? I mean the challenge of remembering to eat food every day seems like it would be an epic quest. Then there's that whole "breathing" thing: "breathe in, breathe out; breathe in, breathe in; breathe in - oh, crap, how does it go again?"
And this relative learned that I play music, and told me they didn't know that I played in bands. I told them the website address of the band, but I'm pretty certain that even if it was tattooed on their body (a la Memento), they still couldn't get it right. I mean with all the typing involved in finding a website, how does anyone manage getting to anywhere online that's got more than 1 syllable in its name?
The upside is that now I know what to get this relative for our 8th Christmas spent together. An entire collection of books from here and here.
But seriously, dearest family member, if you are reading this, I'm amazed.