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Friday, August 18, 2006

The true meaning of Christmas

A true, unedited conversation between a friend of mine (F) and myself, regarding his thoroughly biased, uninformed view of the people at my church, Robert DeNiro, and the true meaning of Christmas:

me: your ideas of my church change on a weekly basis. one week we're drunken pot smokers, the next we're the Bush administration. which is it?
F:: A little from column A, a little from column B. This week you're gay-hating flag-burners.
me: ha. hilarious.
F:: Funny because it's true.
me: but of course.
F:: Mostly I see you as a cross (ha!) between Ned Flanders and Stryper. You guys are also like Robert DeNiro's hip priest from that movie … uh … what's it called? With Brad Pitt and Jason Patric?
me: wtf? i have no idea.
F:: Well just imagine a hip priest played by Bobby DeNiro.
me: Robert deNiro has a priest for his hip?
F:: That's what you guys are like.
me: and my entire church is like said priest?
F:: Yeah. He smokes, he cusses, etc. But he's a priest!
which one is it?
me: Frankenstein?
i have only the faintest memory of that movie
F:: Yah. DeNiro plays a hip priest.
me: hmm. cool.
yes, my church is a lot like DeNiro, but more of a Jake La Motta/Vito Corleone/Rupert Pupkin.
F:: I also imagine Juliette Binoche in Chocolat. Alfred Molina may be the priest, but Juliette Binoche knows the true meaning of Christmas.
me: yeah, hot sex with Johnny Depp is the true meaning of Xmas.
F:: Well it is in France.
me: i'm totally gonna blog that.
F:: ha
me: i won't use your name tho.
F:: right
me: it'd probably burn up the moment i typed it in the same sentence as "church".
F:: hahahaha
And scene.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

One day I was full of life but now my branches suffer

So, on the drive to work this morning, I was listening to a mix cd that I put together for my wife's work party this weekend. And I was enjoying the songs, all of them mellow, when on comes "A Day in the Life of a Tree" by The Beach Boys. For those of you unfamiliar with this song, it's from the mostly brilliant 1971 Beach Boys album "Surf's Up".. For some reason (a.k.a. my impending fatherhood making me face my own mortality & aging), this song made me cry for its entire duration. On the surface, the song can be read as an "save the trees" anti-pollution song, but it's really an analogy for becoming old, useless, and dying a slow death. It's really moving stuff & as allmusic says, "the somber tones of a pipe organ build atmosphere."
Here is an mp3 of Matthew Sweet's cover of it. His version isn't quite as powerful as the original, but you get the idea.

"A Day in the Life of a Tree"
by Jack Rieley & Brian Wilson

Feel the wind burn through my skin
The pain, the air is killing me
For years my limbs stretched to the sky
A nest for birds to sit and sing

But now my branches suffer
And my leaves don't bear the glow
They did so long ago

One day I was full of life
My sap was rich and I was strong
From seed to tree I grew so tall
Through wind and rain I could not fall

But now my branches suffer
and my leaves don't offer
Poetry to men of song

Trees like me weren't meant to live
If all this world can give
Pollution and slow death

Oh Lord I lay me down
No life's left to be found
There's nothing left for me

Trees like me weren't meant to live
If all this earth can give
Is pollution

Trees like me weren't meant to live
(Oh Lord I lay me down)
If all this earth can give
(My branches to the ground)
Is pollution and slow death
(There's nothing left for me)

Oh Lord I lay me down
My branches to the ground
There's nothing left for me

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

One plus one = one?

So here's the big announcement: Mrs. Sloop is totally preggos. That's right. In a time of less than or equal to 6 months, a little Sloop Junior is going to pop from her belly, Aliens style. Seriously; the day after I found out she was "in the family way", I went and bought the special edition of Aliens, just so I could know what to expect. Apparently, babies are gross little creatures that, seconds after being born, try to kill everyone around. And frankly, with this in mind, it's amazing that so many people have kids at all. So now there's all sorts of stuff to consider. I mean, having a baby is a major life change. For example, did you know there's a store called "Babies R Us"? I mean, who knew? I sure didn't.

So that's it. I may have some more thoughts or observations about this in the next 6 months. Maybe.