Friday, June 29, 2007
An actual conversation
Last night, the power in my neighborhood went out. I called the power company on my cell phone. This is exactly what transpired:
Southern Fried Redneck Customer Service Hillbilly: (mumbles) Paahr.
Me: What? Hello?
SFRCSH: Puh(mumbles) Paahr!
Me: Um. Ok, my power is out.
SFRCSH: Wut's yer address?
Me: (address withheld from blog. Just say "No" to online stalkers!)
SFRCSH: Wut? Wut state yew ee-in?
SFRCSH: Orygun!!?? You got the wrong state, buddy!
SFRCSH: You need to call the Orygun nummer!
Me: Well, this is the number that my power company told me to call.
SFRCSH: Yore callin' Flarida! You need to call Orygun!
Me: Ok, well can you tell me what number that is? My power is out...
SFRCSH: No; you need to call the Orygun nummer! Yore callin' Flarida! What you need to do is call Orygun! (ad infinitum)
In other news, my church is breaking up, but it's the right time for that. Imagine God saying, "It's not you, it's me." Or something like that.
In other other news, I need to work more. And get paid for it. It seems that having a baby costs money, and certain roommates moving out and certain selves working less means there is less money around for my champagne and caviar parties. So there's that. I'd prefer not to answer phones, operate a cash register, or work evenings or weekends, but beyond that I'm flexible. Really! Any ideas? I'd consider male modeling, hand modeling, or even model aeroplaning, if that's a job.